Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I party with great urgency now.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
