When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You've changed since you got that strap on
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
