Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
