Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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