Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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