how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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