Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
