I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
