Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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