Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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