some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
