You smell like stripper and shame
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
