What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
