I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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