her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
