How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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