Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
