im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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