I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
