dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize