You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
someone owes me an orgasm
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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