having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
