Porn is love you can see.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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