I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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