please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
