i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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