I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
