I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
