Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Life without a bra equals bliss.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
