you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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