Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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