I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize