smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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