Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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