That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize