So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Just cropdusted the office
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Randomize