i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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