i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize