Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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