Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
