So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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