he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize