conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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