I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
