$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
