on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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