i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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