Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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