butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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