You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
