office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
