you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
