I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
just tell him i said nine months
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
