Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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