You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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