So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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