i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You may now shotgun with the bride
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize