My room smells like vodka and shame
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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