Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
