you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
