I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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