dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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